oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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