how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
