1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Damn victory sex feels great
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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