After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
