HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
