Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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