Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
