Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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