SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
