she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
