epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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