i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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