no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
