yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
