It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
pray to the hookup gods
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
