id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How does it feel to date your dad?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
