We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
