Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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