My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just invented taco cereal.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
