Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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