we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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