dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
