i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
