More tranny stories later!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
