alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Alive.
So much puke
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
