She's JV to your varsity
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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