Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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