I met the friendliest cop last night
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
