Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
