Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
