I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
