Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
