Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
