I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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