sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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