My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
