Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
