lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
