I hate your face
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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