She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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