She's JV to your varsity
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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