well you can't waste a boner
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
