He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize