her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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