Me. At least after what I've been through.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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