be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
