Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
PANTIES FOUND
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
