i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
