So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
