I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
