so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
