Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
