hotel room ftw
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
