I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
