I hate your face
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
